Seroiusly lost in the sea of life

I had such good intentions when starting this blog. I had tons of time on my hands and things were swell. Then things got less swell and I found fewer and fewer free minutes in my day. Now I struggle to keep up with my friends on facebook and deal with life in general. Things are looking up and I'm becoming happier, but I still am struggling with time management. Perhaps my problem is the number of things I want to do in a day. Healing, crafts, blogging, facebook, messaging my husband, sleeping, going to work, something ends up going by the wayside. Healing is my #1 priority so that includes the messages with my husband and friends on facebook Unfortunately I have to work and lately the hours are getting longer again so I guess that is #2. then sleep and everything else comes under that...so blogging is a distant number on the list. One day it will be closer to the top, but for now ... it is what it is.... I guess that also is part of my healing. Things are what they are.....and it's becoming OK. THANKFUL.

the Weather

The prompts for this week have been about the weather. Monday was rain, Tuesday was snow and today is about very hot or very cold. I love the rain as long as it doesn't hang around for too many days in a row. I have been very spoiled living here in Southern California. We have such good weather most of the year. I don't have a lot of experience with snow. It's beautiful to look at, but I imagine that living day to day with it could be a big pain. I'm very much a moderate temperature kind of gal. Between 60-80 degrees and I'm a happy camper. If I had my choice though I would prefer colder weather. you can always put on more layers of clothes to keep warm but trying to stay cool when it's too hot is hard. Also the hot flashes I experience make me sometimes want to sit in the refrigerator!

March TUSAL ORT jar

It's that time of month again (actually I'm a few days late) to post the TUSAL photo of my ORT jar. Check out why I'm doing this over at DaffyCat's blog

I think my jar looks less full than last month, but that's because when I added the cute little label inside my glass, I compacted my threads a bit.

long weekend

Saturday we were blessed to be part of the celebration of life of a church member. He passed away last week from cancer. We did not know him well, but we were able to give our love and support to the family by helping provide the food for the reception following the service. It was a long day. We had several places to go to get food, then off to church to set up tables, arrange food, etc. Every time we have a large gathering like this we realize one or two more things that we could get for the church that would help. One of the things is a sign to let folks know there are more restrooms out in the christian education building. I'm going to work on creating a nice sign that we can put up. Will post photos when it's done.

Sunday I had to rush off to work directly after service. Not my favorite thing to do, but at least I was off early and could get to bed at a reasonable time. So today I have stuff to do and of course here I am sitting at my computer. Bad girl! I need to get my little bit late TUSAL post done and then get my butt off this seat.

Where did this week go?

Wow let's see if I can catch up. How did a whole week go by. I guess life got in the way again. That's such a good thing! Here are this week's questions and since they all go together I will answer them all in one fell swoop.

Today's prompt: When is it good to have no alternatives?

Thursday, March 22, 2012
Would you rather make decisions alone or try to work them out with another person?

Wednesday, March 21, 2012
How do you make a difficult decision? What is your process?

Tuesday, March 20, 2012
What is something you recently made a decision about?

I recently made a huge decision to work out some issues from my past and move forward in this area of my life instead of letting it rule me. It was both hard and easy to decide to change. Hard because change is not easy for me. Sometimes I'd rather stay in a bad, but familiar place than face the fear of the unknown also it had been easy enough to avoid certain situations that would cause this fear to manifest.  Easy because I suddenly saw very clearly how this one thing has been holding me hostage and it was time to let it go. Having my husband by my side during this time has been an enormous help. As a matter of fact I don't think I would have the courage to face my fears without him by my side. It has been a struggle and it has been one of the hardest weeks of my life, but I feel the change working inside me and I feel hopeful again today that I will conquer this fear that I have and I will be able to move forward. Even if I can't fully remove the discomfort, I can remove the terror and be able to place myself into these situations that previously would have led to avoidance or a panic attack. It is good to be backed into this corner at this point in my life and have really only two options. A) continue to live in fear and hiding from things that should be done or B) take charge of my life, wrestle with the fears and hurts from my past and then release them into the universe so they are gone from my life. I am choosing option B.

Prayer Flag Project Beginnings

In June of 2011, Vivika Hansen DeNegre started The Prayer Flag Project. She invited people from around the world to to join her in making Prayer Flags. Each flag is created in the artists own style, then hung outside for a while, its words and sentiment dissolving into the wind and being spread to all whom the wind touches. They are a living, breathing, kinetic journal of our hopes, dreams and concerns.

I saw the prayer flags over here at the Prayer Flag Project and I fell in love with the idea. I recently was blessed with an abundance of discarded fabric sample books and decided that this would be a perfect activity for our women's retreat this fall. Since some of our ladies are not as crafty as others, I chose some print fabrics as well as some solids to use as backgrounds for the flags. I see that many of the flag makers use muslin and then create their own backgrounds. I thought this would be too daunting for our group, but choosing from an abundance of fabrics would be fun and easy.

So Here is how I started:

I gathered the various sample books and removed the fabric from the bindings. (This turned out to be a family project as there was a lot of prying  of giant staples and my wrist hurts just thinking about all the work)

 

 Next I folded over the top 3" of the panel and sewed a rod pocket on the top of each. As you can see from the last photo I sewed them all into one long line and then cut them apart as I went. That was so much easier! I also saw a suggestion that if you were to make it from a length of muslin, to make the rod pocket first along the long edge and then cut apart the flags.

Then I cut the fabric into 5" widths. some of the panels were wide enough for me to get two flags per panel! Then I cut the final length at 8". As you can see these are not large flags. They look much larger when photographed by themselves, but my hand shows how small they really are.

Then I decorated with words and other embellishments as I thought were fitting. This is my first one. It will be out in my garden. This is for my family.

These two were created to hang in our flower bed in Karen's garden. They are in memory of Pastor Karen and represent her spirit.  On the second one I did not add anything but words as a sample to our ladies that you don't have to add embellishment to the flag if you choose not to. Since the intent of the flag is to have the prayers and the sentiments dissolve into the wind, I did not finish the edges to allow the fabric to weather naturally as it will. This should add to the beauty of the piece.

Totally missed the boat...

I'm so very far behind. I had such good intentions, but real life gets in the way of computer life. That's ok. Real life is oh so much more enjoyable! Now on to the prompts that I missed this weekend. Let's see if there even is anything worth writing about. Perhaps I should just decide whether to stay with this or go on to something else?

Friday's prompt: Talk about the word "doubt."
I doubt myself all the time. I question my ability to do a good job. I doubt my feelings and wonder if I'm the only one in the world that feels what I feel. I doubt whether to continue with this blogging process since I can't seem to stick with it daily. But then I hear the still small voice inside me that says, keep going. You know what you are doing. It's ok others feel like you and I move along again.

Today's prompt: What is something you feel uncertain about right now?

Is pretty much the same as Friday's isn't it. Not much new to add

Not feeling particularly inspired by either of these.

Today's prompt : Would you rather stay or go?

I'd rather stay.


Yesterday's prompt : Whether or no" is an archaic way of saying "regardless." Talk about a different archaic phrase you know.

I really have nothing to say about this one

Whether

today's prompt "Whether" can mean "which of two." Present two alternatives for your readers.

I'm often torn between whether to do chores or fun stuff (crafts, computer, whatever). the fun stuff often wins. Though there was a period of time when neither won and I would stare off into space and really do nothing. That was not a good period o my life and I'm so thankful that I get to have the choice these days.

Truth or Ignorance?

today's prompt : Would you rather always know the truth or remain blissfully ignorant sometimes?

 I've been living in ignorance for far too long. I'd rather have the truth no matter how painful because you can't change what you don't acknowledge. And you can't acknowledge something until you have the whole truth. A partial truth is the same as a complete lie. I can handle almost anything, but my trust is shattered and it takes a lot to get it back if you have ever lied to me.

Sunday Musings and catch up day

Prompt for Friday : Would you rather lose your blog or lose your photographs?

My blog is not nearly as important as my photos. I have my pictures in so many places, just in case the worst happens. They are on my computer, they are backed up on carbonite, they are on an external drive, some are on Facebook and other photo sites. I burn dvd's regularly of family vacations and give them to other family members for them to enjoy so I know I could get copies from them as well. Nothing more important on my computer than my photos.

Reminder for myself - blog button

Just a little reminder for myself on how to make my own blog button if I so choose.

http://ellisonlane.blogspot.com/2012/03/how-to-create-blog-button-easy-way-in.html

Thanks to Ellison Lane for this tip

memories or dreams?

Would you rather have a video copy of your dreams or a datebook that contains the events of every day of your life?

My dreams are not something I'd like to see. I have no guarantees that they would all be pleasant to watch. However there are so many days in my everyday life that I don't remember. Knowing what has actually happened in my life as compared to what I remember (or don't remember) would be very interesting. I'd like to know the difference between what my brain has done to protect me and what the truth is.

Would you rather have more blog readers or more blog comments?

I guess it doesn't matter to me. Either would be fine. Right now I have more readers and very few comments. I'm good.

invisible or flight?

Today's prompt is Would you rather have invisibility or the ability to fly?

My first reaction was to be invisible. The idea intrigued me to be able to watch life without having to participate in it because no one could see me. But then I began to think about all the times I have been hurt because I felt invisible. Nobody saw me, no one cared that I was there or was in pain. Or even worse they saw me and ignored me anyway... I don't want to be invisible.

Flying would free me from the constraints of mankind. No longer forced to follow a predetermined path. Not held back by traffic, red lights and stop signs. To be able to just go over obstacles in my path and to continue on the journey I choose instead of being forced into another man made detour. To be able to get a "birds eye view" of the world. To see the world from a new perspective and away from the narrow view of my human life. To soar on wings as eagles! 

the fifth already? oh my

I am already behind the blogging and I just started! Ok the prompt for Friday was "Would you rather make your own choices or have someone make them for you?"

I have spent years being determined to make my own destiny. Make all my own choices. And like Dr. Phil would say, "how's that workin' out for you?" - Sometimes not so good. I have recently let go of some big stuff I was holding on to. Gave it to God and asked him to take my life. Make the decisions for me. I have never felt so calm and peaceful. I thought giving up control would send me into chaos, but it hasn't.

Today's prompt is "Would you rather travel to space or go deep into the ocean?"

That's an easy one - space travel for sure. I have never been 100% comfortable in the water. I'm good up at the surface. Bobbling along peacefully right at the top. But diving in deep is way out of my comfort zone. So, since it is the most uncomfortable for me... I will be choosing go deep into the ocean. I'm challenging my fears and hoping they make me a stronger person. With God's help I can do anything.

first writing prompt

Thursday, March 1, 2012
How do you feel about uncertainty? Is it exciting or scary?

I'm going to try to follow the writing prompts....lets see how this first one goes.

Uncertainty is scary most of the time. I live in a world that I like to keep orderly. I make lists. Even when my house is a bit messy, I know where everything is. There is a bit of order to it. This pile is bills, that one is for taxes, another is for an upcoming event. I like to know what is coming. And then something will happen out of the blue to turn my whole world upside down. Now I need to take on this scary thing and turn it into a challenge, I make it exciting by trying to figure out how to put it into my organized life. That is the excitement, the wrestling with the new thing until either it fits into my life, or I change my life to fit the new situation. Either way I feel better when I go back into a place of order. I cannot live in chaos.

NaBloPo Mo

I'm going to give the March NaBloPoMo a try. It will be the first one for me and I have no Idea if I can keep up, but it will give me a challenge to try to do. We will see how it goes.

February TUSAL

Here is a photo of my ORT jar today. I actually have done more stitching than I thought now that I look at last month's jar. This is turning out to be a very interesting endeavor. If anyone has questions about this TUSAL check out Daffy Cat's blog.

Moving Along

I did work on some stitching yesterday and got a lot done too. Working on it a bit more today. It's a large work and it will take many months to do, but I will get it done eventually. Feeling better about my progress. THANKFUL

Rainy day work

It's a cold and rainy day. My wrist hurts (I think I over did it this weekend lifting more than I should have).  A good day for sitting under a blanket and working on my stitching. So why am I reading blogs instead? Who knows. My motivation to work is low. I seem to be easily distracted. Is this what I should do or what I want to do? I should want to do my work..... I'll go get something to eat and then get to work. I'll let you know tomorrow if I got much done on this cold and rainy day...

Creatively blocked

I'm feeling like I'm stuck in the mud. I have been working a bit on my stitching and it is coming along, but since it is such a big project I feel like I'm not getting anything done. Of course I have also spent some time coloring. That has been relaxing and I enjoy it, but for some reason I feel like I should be doing something else. I've been perusing the Pinterest boards for ideas and I see lots of great stuff, but nothing has leaped out at me to try.

I am excited about the possibility of a writers group starting at church. We were thinking of a fall group that will begin working on memoirs. Also maybe a summer class or two on blogging. I know that I have not been doing this very long, but I thought I would like to share what I have learned with others. I know I won't commit to one blog post per day, but I'd like to make sure I post at least once a month. We will have to see....

I did add the Shelfari widget to this page. I think it is great to share my favorite books. Currently reading The Story. The bible told in story form. It's not quite what I expected and I imagine some parts will be more interesting to me than others. Currently I'm in chapter 6.

TUSAL January 2012

Here is my ORT (old ratty thread) Jar for the TUSAL (totally useless stitch along) that Daffycat is having. If you want more information please check out Daffycat's blog. I changed my jar from my test one I did in December. I didn't like the way it sat in my family room on the mantle. It was too big and bulky. So I chose this pretty juice glass instead. I hope to have it overflowing by the end of the year, but I must admit that I've been doing more coloring than stitching lately.

 

I have no idea why but my vertical photo keeps posting horizontally, so I am leaving it!

My first coloring book page

I got this great book from a friend for Christmas. It is a Coloring book for women and I enjoyed coloring my first page. It has taken me away from my stitching, but it has a differently calming effect on me. Unleashing my inner child I suppose. Making me want to doodle and sketch which I haven't done in a long time. It is a great way to begin this new year with new ideas and a creative energy!